Whenever my wife and I and our fourteen kids drove down the Penn Turnpike, we would listen to your Top 40. It makes my wife giggle like she’s eating goose livers. My kids don’t really get it, so I just tell them it’s Shaggy from Scooby Doo playing all of his favorite songs from the yesteryear. Those kids don’t know the difference.
I remember one year you went out and played a USO show for our boys overseas, just before we stormed the beaches of Normandy. You were so livid and true blue that it got me all riled up inside full of sin.
Now I know the days of long distance dedications are long gone—I came to terms with that sad fact ever since you went into the witness protection program for unmasking my high school janitor as the Pterodactyl Ghost—but for old times sake I want to dedicate Partiac Arrest’s Sperm Game Scandalz to my uncle Red Herring who is now serving time in county after falsely being accused of a crime we all know he didn’t commit.
Thanks for the memories
-You Were Loved